Failure, low life loser of a loser

in probably 10 minutes stuart is going to break into a rant to EMAN [MY BAND PRESIDENT] about how HORRIBLE I'm doing, how I forgot pretty much ALL my scales, and they will laugh and laugh and make fun of me some more.

I can't believe what I've done this summer as opposed to the summer before!

The summer before? Oh my mozart, I was constantly progressing in the clarinet, I was getting praise, and just progressing...

and heres whats happening this summer;

I can't remember the fingering for high F
I couldn't remember Ab major,...or any major above 3 flats and four sharps
Nicki, probably one of my worst rivals yet...knows ALL majors AND almost all minors...
Stuart is at emans right now, which seems to be his best student, they must be laughing about me
my stupid fingers don't seem to move from the hand

This was the first time in a LONG time [ignoring the weber concerto issue] that I REALLY wanted to cry during lessons, when I said, "I...I can't remember the fingering for high F"

he looked at me like I was the fattest most unhygenic rudest girl in the entire world.

and at that moment I just wanted to start summer all over again...

I mean, I knew I had to improve....I knew that from the start of the summer, I thought I knew what I needed to work on...

but the thing I've been stressing over to people when giving advice was the very thing I should be yelling at myself about, I'm probably the most narcissistic hypocritical clarinetist to walk the earth. SCALES. Whats wrong with me!? always before all southern I forget all my scales

PRACTICE THEM ALL LEA!

If only I had punished myself with these thoughts so much earlier in the summer, I could've been better.

Enough about what could've happened, I still have a month to be best friends with that poulenc piece D:<

never ever ever again do I want my teacher to look at me like I was the most horrible thing to walk the earth.

here is my advice for today

so you don't have enough time to practice, don't look at your piece then, practice long tones and scales and maybe an etude, thats under an hour, you'll have time to do whatever else you want to do...

and most importantly....

to be a great musician?

BE YOUR OWN TEACHER

maybe I won't go to piano lessons today...I dunno....

:(