I know...another post...in only 5 minutes...
but I forgot what songs PYSO was playing this year....not that it matters to me...i'm not gonna be in it -_-...
and HUGE bolded words appear, as though mocking me for not being ready for PYSO...
"PYSO IN EUROPE!!!
yes...this year, the first time ever...
they are going to europe
not that it matters, i mean, my academy is going to europe in our sophmore year...maybe...damn bombings!
but still...It jsut seems to always be like that, when its there, I can't get it.
I remember the dead heavy voice i heard last year, "I'm sorry Lea, you're not ready for any youth orchestras yet"
it surely, truly, was a promise I had made to myself to be ready in a year, I guess I wasn't so crushed when Stuart had told me I couldn't try out for PYSO yet, merely because he was letting me try out for CYMO.
But I feell like that orchestra, PYSO, is a silk ribbon...or water....I grab it...and it slips through my hands...
When I look at the future I always wonder if all my musical expectations are going to be met...will I be the top no matter what? Will a crowd hold their breath as they hear me? Can I ever make one cry by one dramatic cresendo made not by the air but truly by my heart and words? Can I got to Juilliard? Go to study music in London and France?
It feels like I can't catch it..
I know, you'll all be mad i'm all giving you advice, and look at me!
But the truth of it is, I can't listen to myself all the time.
Well, off to piano
this blog certainly wasn't all inspiring...
it makes me a little mad...I think I'll practice when I get home...I'll finish hw later...
maybe I'll get first chair in CYMO...
that'd be impossible...
well who knows...
maybe if I won the concerto competition my teacher will be all like omg and let me try out...
sorry D: ignore moi....
off to piano...wait i sad that...
-_-
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